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Old April 28th, 2009, 03:51 PM   #1
Shattered Soul
Name: Cathy
Join Date: April 13, 2009
Location: Hampshire, England
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 5

Hi, another forum section that I need, I hate my problems they're all probably interlinked and i'm worried people will think i'm making things up when i'm really not. My mind is just a mess.
Ok. It started when I was a kid. All of my food needed to be put on certain places on the plate, everything needed to be put in just the 'right' places in the room. I refused to take part in messy activites because they made me sticky and I used to twirl my hair until it became knotted and needed to be cut.
That was when I was a kid, now every room i go in has to be perfect. I get to class before everyone else so i can make sure the desks are in perfectly straight lines, the teachers desk needs to be in exactly the right place and there cannot be litter on the desks or floor otherwise I cant work in there - i also need to always be sat in exactly the same place in class, dont care if anyone else moves. I, also, absolutely cannot have liquid spill on me, especially on my sleeves - I have to drop everything im doing and go to the bathroom straight away to wash my hands/arms/sleeves coz it always feels sticky if something spills on me, even clean drinking water. When playing poker, i need to start off with the chips who's colour comes first alphabetically, then when i start getting other coloured chips they need to be placed in colour order and the colours need to be in alphabetical. I make other players do this to their chips aswell because I can't play otherwise. Every piece of work i've done for school at college hasn't been good enough for me because even if I get full marks, i don't believe it's perfect and cry coz i think im a complete failure due to this - my psychology teacher says i'm an extreme perfectionist. Another issue is that I have to read the instructions for taken any medication at least 4 times before I allow myself to take it (even if it's a commonly taken medicine like paracetamol), then i constantly worry that i've overdosed. The hair twirling as a child has turned into compulsive hair pulling, which i really hate coz i'm bullied about it and isn't just confined to pulling the hair on my head, it's eyebrows too. Found out recently that it has a name, Trichotillomania. I also fear stupid things will happen if I get any of this wrong, mainly that i'll be harmed, but also fear that isn't pinpointed at anything. If I clean up a room, i don't finish until hrs later until i'm sure everythings perfectly clean and in the right place. I've even spent 2 hrs moving everything in the kitchen into different places, their 'right' places.
My parents took me to the doctors to get the hair pulling sorted out a few yrs ago, she said just tell me not to do it.
Now my friends are really concerned and are urging my to see a doctor coz they think i have ocd. I should also mention that every member of my family has problems relating to the same chromosone: autism, asperger's symdrome, depression and bipolar disorder - ocd is linked to problems with this chromosone aswell.
What do you guys think? Should I go see my doctor? This is really causing me a lot of anxiety and takes up a lot of my time, it's driving my crazy.


thought i'd add that on the symptom checklist on the sticky, i ticked 25 of the symptoms - each vary from mild to severe. Didn't put them all in the original post as i dont like my posts being too long.

~ We've got to find the courage to live to fight another day. And remember, someone, somewhere is their holding your hand when you cry at night, fighting right beside you, and that person will help you hear the music of the world again. They will be the one to see not just the beauty of your eyes, but the beauty and wondor of the soul within you. ~

Last edited by Zephyr; May 3rd, 2009 at 03:59 AM. Reason: Double post, please use the edit button.
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