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Old December 5th, 2005, 02:03 PM  
lovelesslady
New Member
 
Join Date: December 5, 2005
Location: Washington State
Default never ending tears

I found the love of my life on August 2nd 2005. It took me about 2 weeks to realize that i loved him with everything i have, more than life it's self. All wanted was for me to open with him, not to lie. I told one lie, it's over now. He tells me i'm like his other girlfriend shannon, i'm not though, I wish i he would understand so badly. it's killing, i can't go anywhere now, i'm a complete wreck, i can't stop crying, i can't stop regretting all this i thinking that maybe death is the solution to my problem. i've never met anyone like him, he's so perfect. i have only thought about killing myself once before, and i don't have the guts to do it. Now it does seem like the only solution, i want the problem solved so bad, he'll talk to me, but barely, he doesn't know what will become of these 3 absolutely amazing months i've shared with him. He won't comfort me at all, last night was only vunerable time for him, and i'm a torn apart. Why does this have to happen to me, why i did i meet him, why did i lie, i regret these months almost now, for this pain, i can't take. These tears are starting to sting my face. just the other day, we were joking around, and laughing, having a good time. Now where are we!? Now what happens, do i kill myself, and leave this world behind, or do i go day by day and try to mend everything thats fallen apart. How do i go on, i know the one that will read this, will come down here, and try to save me, but i don't if thats enough. My life was perfect yesterday, until 1 in the morning, where it shattered, it shattered to pieces that cut my hands to pick up, for everytime i'm reminded of him, i can't breath, i can't see the sobs and tears i can't cut back, i need this to end, i want to be saved, i wanna be loved again, i don't want to sit here knowing that i loved someone and ruined it. He kill himself, he threatened to, i can't get this pain to go away. Twice in my life i haven't been able to describe my feelings. My feelings for him, the pure love i shared with him and now, this horrible pain, thats eating apart, death is probably the easiest way to rid me of this feeling.

WHAT DO I DO?!?!

i lost my love
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