First all of please don't apoligize. I think you and me have alot in common or at least we did. On March 26th 2005 a good friend of mine past away (Suicide), and I think what I felt after that, Is what you are feeling too. I thought that I could of helped him more Or I could of been there more, kind of in relation to what your feeling. It's taken me until now to finally pull myself together, and Its been 8 months, and believe me I still have days in which I struggle to even get myself up in the morning. I don't know what kind of person you are, or what kinda of things you believe in but this is what helped me. I recently started a medetation class, and then visited a pyschic, for a reading. She was able to help me more then anyone else. I was unsure about if what she was telling me was the truth but she said alot of stuff that she shouldnt of known and I do now trust in what she said. Friends are also a big part in what helped me, they kept me alive. I know If I hadnt of had them, Imight not of been here anymore. You need someone you can talk to and trust. It sounds to me that you've been through alot, more then people deserve to go through. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here and If not, I wish you total luck. You just gotta stick through the rough parts, good things will happen eventually and your life will get back on track.
We Were Meant To Live For So Much More..
Have We Lost Ourselves?