I want to break down and give in worse than ever. My uncle is not going to jail. The court case sucked balls. The judge was a fuckin cunt. That black eye came from my uncle( sorry for those I told a lie too..)
I have NO idea how him pleading guilty completely back fired against me.
I am so lost right now. Vt is driving me off the wall as well. My friends all hate me. I cant maintain a friend without screwing their brains. I am wanting death. Im cutting so many more times that I ever have and I'm not even feeling it. I am so incredibly numb and fake that I would do anything to harm anyone. Its gotten really bad. I have figured out in detention yesterday that if I killed the teacher I wouldnt feel a damn thing. Im so heartless, freindless, shitfull, and Am an extreme ass to everyone that approaches me. I want a day that I would never go through this incredible torture. Sure this probably sounds stupid you. I am stupid, but this pain is not fake. I cannot be healed. It was never meant to be. These tears are never coming out. I can only cry on the inside. Please help me god. Forgive my fucking sins and take me away from this pain.
There is SO much more to all of this. Im not even going to begin to type anymore. No one cares. My old friends are gone. I am hated. I want to die.I have no idea why I am still here. There is too much pain for eternity to erase. Im going back into my hole now. This will probably be deleted for spam as my posts are valued that much. I am a sorry, pathetic cunt. I know. Dont have to remind me. I feel the world on my shoulders and Im squished on my back.