Have we had the 'Voodoo Dick' one yet? If not 'tis below
So, a man has to go away on holiday and doesn't want his wife to 'mess around' ith anyone while he is away. He goes to a sex shop and starts looking around. Not being very familiar with female sex toys, he asks the shop owner what she thinks about a blow up doll. She replies, saying it's a bit boring and still quite similar to cheating. She pulls him closer and says she has one very special toy, but you have to be very careful with it. She reaches under the desk and pulls out a plain white box, with clear black writing, which reads 'Voodoo Dick'.
He says what's so special about it? She takes it out of the box, it looks like a wooden dildo. Then she says, very carefully 'Voodoo Dick, the door knob' fast as hell, this dildo races across the room and starts f**king the hell out of the door knob! Within seconds, the door handle's become loose and the ladie says 'Voodoo Dick, stop'.
'That's astounding!' he exclaims, before throwing $50 onto the table. As soon as he gets home he tells his wife about the dildo. 'Whatever you want it to f**k you say, after "Voodoo Dick"!' He then leaves for his holiday. While he's away, his wife enjoys the new toy.
'Voodoo Dick, my vagina' the dildo zooms towards her, and she starts feeling the pleasure right away. After 6 orgasms, she's exhausted and tries to pull the dildo out. No success. She gets in the car and drives as fast as she can to the hospital.
She's got the dildo viciously thrusting, so she can't drive properly. Of course, she gets pulled over by a copper. After she tries to explain, he sniggers and says 'Voodoo Dick, my arse!'.