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Old January 1st, 2018, 06:34 AM   #18
Sevun's Forum Picture
Join Date: September 5, 2014
Location: Aussie!
Gender: Male
Default Re: i don't know what's wrong with me!?!

update: sorry for all this posting in a row
I still would like a response to the above two questions:
1. Could someone please tell me how to deal with high expectations, whether they're a good thing, whether I should keep them? I read somewhere it's good to have high expectations, but don't expect exact outcomes, focus on the general sense of achievement you get etc.
2. HOW DOES EVERYONE BALANCE THEIR DAILY LIFE (social life, family, homework, extracurricular stuff, jobs, running a support group, a charity etc.)

However, currently I feel rather shit. I've come to terms with myself that I don't really fit what people look for in models, and it's hit me rather hard. I found it so appealing because they travel, they get money, they get amazing clothes, the fame, the publicity, the carefree life, this job actually acknowledges that they're good looking! However, I'm not good looking, and it's really made me quite bloody insecure. I'm emailing my ortho if he specialises in this dental thing i found online which pushes your cheekbones forward which makes you more attractive, but idk, i'm just so bloody insecure because i don't look like anyone in my family or any of my friends. my skin is so bad, and i've picked it a lot so there are so many visible pores, and it's all my fault, when my mum gave me such good skin when I was younger and now it's all gone to waste
i honestly don't know what i want to do and i've been faking it I guess sorry, just trying to find a passion or direction and posting that on this forum, but really idk what the hell i'm trying to say, like wtf was i thinking?! i have an asymmetrical face, my face is rather long but not forward, one of my eyes is bigger than the other liek wtf (this is for me specifically, not me being angry at my race, there are plenty of gorgeous Asian models).
i used to want a job that would give me recognition in my field but also outside my field, but then i read articles saying that wanting fame is because you want attention, and it lessens as you grow older, and that it often stems from a lack of attention in your childhood, which is so true, because whilst i'm the top in my year for academics, i almost never, i repeat never, get rewards or praise from my parents, which often leads me to working harder and trying to better myself. whilst that is beneficial, it has also led to this lol. and so now i'm thinking what am i passionate about, and honestly, i can't find a single thing that i'm passionate about. fashion industry has become less appealing, so does everything else. it seems like so much work to get there. so much stress. i'm not sure if i'm cut out for that. if I was like an uncertified yoga motivational speaker, that would be so much easier. freedom to lay around do nothing, not an intensive job... it doesn't make use of my talents but i'd be happy. but not challenged, and maybe i'll just feel too comfortable if you know what I mean. i'm just done with life and lowkey want to dropout of school despite my academic record, and i feel so done. so shit. and, ... just... i can't deal with this
i can't stop comparing myself too

Last edited by Sevun; January 1st, 2018 at 08:24 AM.
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