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Old September 14th, 2017, 08:42 AM   #1
EssentialAspiration
Junior Member+
 
Join Date: December 14, 2014
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Default Everyday is a battle I always lose

Each morning I wake up and feel awful. I have put on so much weight. I hate being this size I hate looking like this. But every morning I will lie here and say I should just have some weetabix today then go for a walk or something, it's not hard to lose weight just keep track of what I'm eating and be a bit more active. I talk to myself about it for about half an hour then I will go downstairs cook some bacon fry an egg stick it on some toast and eat that for breakfast. Later on in my day the same struggle ensues and I always opt for the most unhealthy option possible and even later on in my day I will eat chocolate sweets crisps literally until I am close to throwing up. I have reached a point where I really want to do something about my weight but I genuinely feel powerless to do so. I am not in control of this situation I am not in control of my eating. For example, I love to drink alcohol, I drink some almost every day, I know that's not good for my weight but given the amount I eat I can't be bothered to cut down on that when I feel there is no point. However, if my eating wasn't an issue and it was just the drinking, and i wanted to lose weight, I would just stop drinking, because that is something I can control and I don't long for the same way I do with food. I drink because I enjoy it but I don't feel like I need to.

At first I thought my overeating was because of how down I've felt for the past few years, but for the past month or so things have actually picked up and are going well. But I still constantly feel the need to eat whether I'm happy or sad. It feels like a genuine hunger I feel it in my stomach and it's all the time. I have had confidence issues surrounding my weight and size for as long as I can remember and I know if I continue to gain weight it is going to seriously affect my life.

I don't know what to do I have no self control I feel powerless in this. I find this whole thing embarrassing and I don't know who to look to for help.
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