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Old August 28th, 2017, 11:16 PM   #1
hjhj
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Name: Yellow
Join Date: June 28, 2017
Location: nowhere.
Gender: Undisclosed
Blog Entries: 4
Default reinventing yourself, feeling alone and weak

I hate the way I'm portrayed by other people, how I am in my mind and by how people judge me.I made myself how I am now a while ago and I regret all of it. I like my hobbies of course but I hate how I look to others mentally, physically, etc
I don't like how I look or how the way I look makes people assume things about me.
You may say be yourself which I do believe but this isn't myself anymore. But if I were to change id be left vulnerable and in a state of possibly even more pain than I am now.
No I'm not super insecure about my looks or my body I just hate how I fake most of my feelings and who I want to be in the Evey day world.

I wish I could have courage and be bold enough to change yet I've become so acquainted to the painful environment I feel now that It feels trapping.
Again, you may say be yourself though I feel this isn't the real me anymore, simply a shell that forces me into a deeper pain. But I don't have any courage in me to make changes where I could lose all of my friends and people around me.



I'm sorry if this didn't make sense I'm in a state of fear, tears and sadness.



Here on VT is where i show a more true self of who I am. The person I am during the rest of my life makes me worse and worse. I'm not toxic in that person atleast I believe.I hope you can wish luck upon me and for anyone who has, is it will go through things like this.



I've kept it together for a little while but I feel I won't be able to much longer.

I've been trying to stop cutting for a little while now but idk if I could or can keep it up
I have to make myself face the truth soon enough







I don't know what I'm trying to say but any advice would really help

Slowly and silently going crazy.
"I like my sugar with coffee and cream"



Last edited by hjhj; August 28th, 2017 at 11:23 PM.
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