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Old August 18th, 2017, 03:50 AM   #1
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Ineedyou's Forum Picture
Name: Ky
Join Date: May 28, 2015
Age: 19
Gender: Male
Question Childhood Trauma

When I was a kid, around middle school, I got teased and called gay because of the way I acted. I was terrified of being gay as I went to a catholic school. I learned what the "gay things" i did were and I changed them. I started acting like everyone else and soon the name calling stopped. I thought I was happy, but years later I realized that I don't even know who I am anymore. I've put on a mask in front of everyone I know for so long, that I just feel numb to everything. A couple of days ago one of my really good friends made me realize something, I don't like physical contact, I don't like saying love, I don't talk about myself in conversations, etc. All this that my friend told me made me realize how much I've closed myself off from people. When anyone gets close to me I push them away, I ignore texts and calls, tell them I can't hang out when I can. I feel like I'm two different people split between what I show people and who I actually am. I feel so broken.
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