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Old September 17th, 2005, 11:41 PM  
~Dangerous MInd~
Junior Member+
 
Join Date: August 13, 2005
Location: petty existence, ca
Default this only makes me want to cut more...

well, me and my boyfriend broke up not too long ago because he doesnt like the way i cut. he found out i was a cutter and since then he acted awkward around me and then dumped me :'('''''''''''' later i found out he dumped me because he doesnt want to deal with the drama and he thinks i'm too emo because i cut. I'm really bummed out. my friends help me feel better and i almost feel like i dont need him because he is a "jerk" for dumping me instead of helping me but everytime i think about him, or look at his pictures i feel bad. i must have loved him more than he loved me.....
everyone knows i cut now and they are all telling me its not cool and i shouldnt do it. i only want to cut more. lately the only answer to my problems is cutting since no one gives a shit and theres no one around in my house but my scary scarred up mom who bashes holes in the walls and doesnt let me be free from anything... in my room its just me and theres so much on my mind and the razor i hide in a book on a bookshelf... i cut about 4 times a day.... abdomen, wrist/arm, ribs... i need to break the habit but i can't. life is just so empty and cold with no hope for anything.

|l|l|l on candystripe legs,
the spiderman comes
softly through the shadow of the evening sun
stealing past the windows of the blissfully dead
looking for the victim shivering in bed
searching out fear in the gathering gloom and
suddenly! a movement in the corner of the room!...(the cure)
|l|l|l

I used to be synthetic teardrops. I was a member since june \'04

x-X-x Sarah
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