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Old July 8th, 2017, 11:49 PM   #13
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Name: Peanut
Join Date: February 25, 2014
Location: Crescent City
Gender: Neutral
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: Feeling at war with yourself - my bipolar diary

These days is a horrible anniversary. My life has gone downward a great deal since these events.
But now? Things seem to look up. I find it scary how calm and positive I am.

I was down for so long I felt like not even remember how to be happy.

I hope it's not just my illness playing tricks on me but the good feeling seems genuine.

I have learnt so many things about myself and I have learnt so much about others.

Sometimes forgiveness really works as sometimes people who do bad things are really just victims themselves.

Sometimes people need to face a catastrophy to wake up and take their lives in their own hands.

Sometimes you are surprised by how loyal and genuine people can be. People are true to you and real friends in need.

And sometimes you sadly have to learn how false and selfish people are. So called friends that come and dump their shit on you and just want you to tell them they are always right and the greatest but then you give them honest words God forbid. They will show their true face one way or other.

I might have seemed mean to people close to me this last month since I sorta got rid off so many people in real life and online. But it just isn't healthy for me...I'm my own person and can't just say yes to whatever bullshit.
I have wasted already too much of my life trying to make others to like me but this has to stop now whoever doesn't like me okay I won't change myself and my opinions and principles to be more likeable.

As a whole I have grown so much over this year...mentally, physically I'm afraid I'll never grow...lmao...

But in all honesty I would have never made it alone. I had my grandma, my best real life friend and my best online friend.
Without those people I would not have survived that year.
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