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Old May 30th, 2017, 09:37 PM   #6
Dalcourt
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Name: Peanut
Join Date: February 25, 2014
Location: Crescent City
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Re: Feeling at war with yourself - my bipolar diary

I'm really kinda panicking today. Dunno why I just feel like something really bad will happen and I can't do nothing.

I hope my decisions were right and I haven't destroyed everything with them. No I don't hope. I know. Sure it wasn't bad the other way but it wasn't good either.
I made some interesting experiences, saw things I never thought I'd see. But as a whole everything felt wrong. I wasn't allowed to be me anymore. Deep down I felt bad every single day. I can't even explain those feelings to myself so I understand when the others say my decision was utterly stupid.

This is the reason I can't be happy about it now. I now it's right but I can't explain why.So there is these dark shadows lingering over everything . I'm not sure if it will be okay again one day, maybe it's already too late.
If I made a mistake then it's like that now there is no other way.
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