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Old April 23rd, 2017, 08:15 AM   #1
Abhorrence
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Join Date: October 28, 2014
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 4
Default Struggling Again

So, I'm not sure if anybody actually cares or will even read this but I'm having troubles again. Back in December I was around 12 stone 5. I'm six foot two so this isn't exactly an abnormal weight or anything. I was that weight for pretty much all of 2016; with no worries or cares about it. However, since December I have lost nearly three stone. I'm now 9 stone 12, which probably certifies as underweight for my age and height.

I've had an eating disorder before, when I was sixteen I was around eight stone and I gradually overcame it (mostly through the use of weed, I won't lie to anybody - it made me actually have an appetite). I've never gone to therapy for my weight issues, only for self harm and emotional issues. I don't really know how to deal with hating my body and wanting to still lose more weight. People have noticed my weight loss, my face has gotten thinner, my arms have gotten thinner, I've got a thigh gap again. It's bad because it's noticeable, just like it was when I was sixteen.

I'm feeling tired all the time, I feel weak, I feel just plain terrible. But I can't make myself eat anymore. It's like I've lost all taste for it, I eat one thing and then I'm full. Thinking about the fact that I had one meal yesterday makes me feel sick, I hate myself for it and that's one fucking meal. The logical side of me knows that this is ridiculous and I should just eat but then my mind is just telling me not to and I'm not sure if it's managing to trick me into physically believing it, too.

TL;DR: I've lost three stone in around four months, I can't eat anymore and it's getting bad. What do I do?


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