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Old January 5th, 2017, 10:18 PM   #21
brandon9's Forum Picture
Name: Brandon
Join Date: October 22, 2016
Location: VA
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Default Re: How open are you about your disorders-mental illnesses??

I keep everything a secret, even from my parents and sister - I've only let something slip a handful of times when I'm really fucked up. There are only 3 people in my life I've ever told I have depression, anxiety, severe self-esteem and trust issues, and problems opening up and displaying emotions. Only one of them has been totally understanding and supportive, and it's because he's 30 and was exactly like me as a kid. He's like a big brother to me. He also happens to be my manager at work, we just became very very close over the last year and a half I've been under him. He gets everything I feel.

I feel secretive for many reasons about it. I don't like opening up in general because it only leads to me getting fucked over, but I'm also kind of ashamed of it all, like I feel like I should be more than I am, like I should be better. And people don't give a shit about me anyhow, I've been mistreated by "peers" my whole life, so I don't want to give anyone leverage against me. I've become a master of hiding my true emotions and putting up a front of being okay. It's the only way for me to get by.
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