Originally Posted by ScotsGirl
...hmm, lets see...
A lonely older lady, aged 75, decided it was time to get married. She put a want ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED. Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me, and must still be good in bed! All applicants must apply in person.
On the second day of the ad, she heard the doorbell ring. Much to her dismay, when she opened the door, there sat a man in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.
She asked sardonically, "You're not expecting me to consider you, are you? Just look at you---you have no legs!"
The old man smiled, "Therefore no chance to run around on you!" She snorted,
"You have no arms either!"
Again the old man smiled. "Nor can I beat you!"
The old lady raised her eye brows and gazed at him intensely. "Are you still good in bed?" she asked.
With a smirk he old man said, " Rang the doorbell didn't I?"
hehe, i like that, thats funny
Me the person who likes family guy so much
qoutes from peter
Teacher: In French, to say yes you say oui-oui.
[Peter starts laughing]
Peter: Oh, man, that\'s hysterical. (keeps laughing) Hey, what do you say for no, doo-doo? (laughs) Hey, I\'ll be right back. I\'ve got to go take a wicked yes
Peter: Holy crip, he\'s a crapple
killer in jail: you and your friends are dead your all dead!
Peter: oh thank god he thinks were zombies
Peter: Hey Lois, give Chris a break. I mean, no TV? So he failed a class, it\'s not like he felt up his cousin in the garage that Thanksgiving when I was nineteen
Peter: Don\'t worry I got an idea An idea so smart my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about
Mr. Weed: Peter, your fired
Peter: Aw! Damn it for how long
[At a job interview]
Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years
Peter: [Thinking to himself \"Dont say doing you wife. Dont say doing your wife.\"] Doing your, uh, son