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Old March 3rd, 2016, 01:37 AM   #1
New Member
Join Date: March 3, 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Gender: Female
Default i think i have add

hi, i'm very new to this site and this is my first post, so i apologise for my mediocre writing skills and if it seems like i don't know what i'm doing. this might be a little lengthy, but i've had this all bottled up for so long and i just want someone to listen to me and maybe understand what i'm going through. i'm a 16 year old girl and i think i have add. i've struggled with inattention since i was little but just in the past year or two it's gotten progressively worse. i've always had problems in school. i've never been able to pay attention in class, hand in homework or projects on time, or basically focus on anything for more than 10 minutes. i would consider myself a fairly smart person, i can grasp the concept of things easily, but i never feel motivated enough to actually do my school work. over the years i've been told by my immediate family and teachers alike that i'm lazy or i need to focus on my work more. my report cards show that i've never been an A+ student, i usually get B's and C's, maybe an A or two in an easy class. however, this past school year (i'm currently in 10th grade) i really tried my hardest to get good grades and i ended up getting High Honors on my report card (that's all A's and one or two B's i think). for once i was really proud of my grades and i felt like i was finally one of the "smart kids". unfortunately, this only lasted up until the past month or two, around the start of the second semester. i feel like i'm just shutting down and losing focus in basically everything i do, especially schoolwork. my grades are slipping again and everytime i try to makeup my work, i end up getting distracted by my phone or laptop within 10 minutes. i've tried everything to eliminate these distractions like turning off my phone and putting my laptop in another room, but i always manage to get sidetracked by something and it's so frustrating. i hate myself every day because i see so many kids in my classes getting good grades and actually being successful but i just can't bring myself to do the work anymore. i make to do lists and plan out my after school routine the entire day, but when i get home i find myself watching netflix for five hours instead of doing my work. my boyfriend and my other friends at school are all motivated students with high GPAs, and i just feel kind of terrible knowing that i'll never be like them. i've looked into ad/hd symptoms and i realized that i displayed a lot of them. i don't want to self-diagnose myself, but i'm scared to talk to my mom about visiting a doctor. i'm worried that she'll just write it off as an excuse for my laziness and disregard it entirely. i'm getting a physical exam in a few days so i was wondering if that could be my opportunity to talk to a doctor about this problem? i'm just so scared that i'll have to go through disappointing my teachers and family and my boyfriend because i can't focus on anything at all. my whole life i've been conditioned by my family to think that i'm just lazy and i just need to "put the phone down" and focus more. they don't understand that i can't focus no matter how hard i try. all i want is someone to talk to or get help but i'm really really scared to reach out. i feel like no one would understand what i'm going through and i don't want to be disregarded and told that i just need to work harder.
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