Thread: What did I do?
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Old August 25th, 2005, 04:27 AM  
ScotsGirl
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Join Date: February 3, 2005
Location: Scotland!
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I totally agree with that statement^^

Anyway, im sorry things arent going so well ...but it sounds as if this guy has alot of troubles/things on his mind...if i were you i wouldnt believe everything you hear, you say youve talked to others and they have said this or this....maybe give him the benefit of doubt before you believe the things that other ppl say

Also, you asked him for an answer about whether or not you had a chance with him and he gave you one

Quote:
Then he said "I don't know".
I know thats probably not the answer you wanted to hear, however, its an answer and looking at the situation as you described it, it seems honest enough. It seems as if he likes you(he has never denied it which shows that there must be some feelings) but something is holding him back, whether there are things with his family or maybe trust issues, im not sure, but some kind of conflict within himself....i mean, this statement...
Quote:
"when I was younger, I was nervous. But now I know that if I agree to do anything with someone, the physical aspect of that relationship will take over and the significance of the person will dissapear."
...there is usually a reason for people to act the way they do, our body has a number of defense mechanisms (im sure thats the name ) they are kind of self-protecting instincts, if that makes sense...so when something happens, we learn to cope by minimising the pain we feel, we learn strategies which although allow us to deal with things in the short term, in the long term can make getting close to people or trusting people more difficult ...maybe you could talk to him about his past, maybe open up about your past (if you havent already done so) let him see that he can trust you etc....
As Nykole said though, whatever you do, dont pressure him...and dont blame yourself, its no one's fault, these things just take time...

I really hope things work out alright

xxx
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