Thread: What did I do?
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Old August 24th, 2005, 08:48 AM  
the_hope_house
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Join Date: March 27, 2005
Location: Miami, Florida
Default What did I do?

I really like this guy, however this guy has a few social problems. I met him in boarding school for the arts. I played jazz saxophone and he played jazz piano. That's how we met. Well, I decided to go up to him and talk, since I liked him so much. It was his personality that I liked. He was so serious, like me, about what he wanted to do with his life, and that made me interested. He seemed happy and organized, the guy that I thought would be ok to get involved with. One day he snapped at me for no reason and then the next he was all happy again. This confused me, so I asked him about it. He told me I asked too many questions and left. So then I started asking people about him, figuring that maybe they knew more about him than I did. Most of them said that he was moody and mean, and the others said that he was nice. Most of the people didn't know him, however. One of my friends said that he had a hard, hard time in his life before Interlochen. My friend told me that he was born in Bulgaria and then moved to America at the age of 10, at the same time his parents divorced. He had to live with his alcoholic mother, who beated him up and probably mentally abused him. I figured that was the reason why he never talked to girls and he was so moody. He also drank alcohol, but not as much as his mother. One day I couldn't take it anymore and I told him how I felt about him. He kept saying "No, no, No!" as if I had insulted him. This really made me feel less than an inch tall. He told me he didn't have time for me and couldn't do anything with me because I was, according to him, "a distraction" to him and his jazz. I wish he could've told me that he didn't like me. That would've made it a lot easier, but he didn't. I told him he didn't HAVE to like me, and that it weas ok for him to tell me how he felt. But he never told me. A few months after that he needed a place to stay in Miami before he went to the university here. I lived in Miami and agreed to help him. He arrived on the plane in Miami a week ago now, and I've been confused ever since. He only stayed at my house for two days, but I talked to him a lot before he left to the dorms at the University of Miami. Being that it was about 9 months since I talked to him about how he felt about me and that he never told me the truth, I asked him carefully late one night after everyone in my house went to bed and it was just us. He seemed irritated at the very menchine of it, but I had to know. I wanted to know where I stood with him, you know, if I ever had a chance. Then he said "I don't know". I suggested to him that he might be afraid of women, and he said "when I was younger, I was nervous. But now I know that if I agree to do anything with someone, the physical aspect of that relationship will take over and the significance of the person will dissapear." I told him that you don't have to have sex to be in a relationship. I told him that I was old fashioned and that I wouldn't just go and have sex as if I was saying hello, so he had nothing to worry about. Sometimes I think he's using that as an excuse. However he told me that he'd rather wait until the right time...but I wasn't talking about SEX, I was talking about LOVE!!!!!! He didn't seem to get it. What did I do? Is it me? Is it him?!

Alannah
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