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Old August 22nd, 2005, 04:41 PM  
Elokyn
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Join Date: April 26, 2005
Location: Under Your Bed
Age: 28
Default News about my Joseph

okay I put this in my diary a lil bit ago today before this was here but people will actually see it here so I'm gonna post it here lol.......

well....I'll start at the begining.....

Josephs step mom is a bitch....nobody in the house can do anything unless its cleared with her! If Josephs dad says he can do something and she says no..it's a no...not just a no it's a hell fuckin no......it interferes with our relationship and it's NOT fair....She runs this relationship..it's not Joseph and me it's Joseph and me and Deanna ....we wanted to go on a date the other day and he practically had to BEG her to let him come over here for 4 fuckin hours ...in which our movie on demand messed up and he didnt even get to see the end! Anyway aside from that she is constantly bossing him around (this applies to everyone in the house, but I'm talking about Joseph right now) he does everything he's supposed to and there's no appreciation at all which just completely breaks my heart because I love him soo much and if I lived with him I would spend every waking hour showing him how much I appreciate him....he's not allowed to be mad..and you think I'm kidding ...I'm not....deanna has said before if you're mad I better not know about........and if he's too happy when someone else is mad he's accused of making fun If he has a complaint about deanna he cant let her know..his suppresed anger makes him get short tempered with me sometimes (of course he always catches himself) and it's....it's just unfair......now...

I dunno if he notices it but everytime something happens at his house or he gets yelled at or bossed around he says...I wanna call my mom...I wanna go to my moms...I miss my mom.....and yesterday we weren't going to go to church cus he wanted to be with me cus he started school today. Well..an hour before we're even supposed to go in the first place...deanna yells and says we're all going to church...so we're there and she tells us to move tables around for her so we did that and now we're there an hour before everyone else just sitting up in the youth room of course we cant go outside cus if we're alone we'll get in big trouble even though they claim they trust us so we're stuck there...and Marshall (josephs step brother) was like....why didnt we bring the car and he was like yeah I know I should have cus I want a soda and we could go to the store and hes like yeah and then later joseph was like..why did we come I wanted to be with yoouu! and I was like..because the almighty miss queen bitch deanna said so and he layed his head back and was like...I wanna go to my moms......and I was like...well...you know you could....and hes like well I cant leave you and if I went I'd be ruining you and I can't do that and I was like..well...the only reason I was so afraid of you not coming back when you visited was because I was under the impression for some reason that I wouldn't see you until you moved back which IS NOT true....I could come visit you and you me...we could even switch off and you come here one month and I'll go there the next..if you dont want deanna knowing you're here come stay at my house and I wont tell a soul that you're around.

sooo....we talked about it....covered pretty much every point and every possibility..and I even told him with you here I wont get to see you but MAYBE at church if I'm not workin (cus deanna also told him he was not allowed to work sundays and wed. cus of church *rolls eyes*) and if you're there we can come see each other a good once a month and stay for a few days..you add it all together if you're there I'll see you more then if your 20 minutes away!! (for those of you who dont know his mom lives in Oklahoma.....I'm in Texas) and he was like...oh...wow you're right....and we talked about it...and then it was weird cus his mom had called while we were at church...I was like she must have heard you thinking about her (cus usually he calls her) and anyway they talked about it and he told her he definately wanted to come back...she said if he waited till he was 18 (dec. 14th) that it would be easier cus they wouldn't have to deal with all the...child support and crap like that. but she said if he couldnt take it she would take his dad to court in October........

He says his mom is very open and we'd actually be able to be close there and he said she wouldnt mind if we kissed and that she already knows he's having sex and stuff so she's not a prude like his step mom is which is great cus we've actually gotten in trouble with his step mom for holding hands.........0_o ...yeah.....that has caused an argument ....we have more arguments over her then........shit all of our arguments are over that bitch!

The thing is I'm gonna miss him like nuts...I'm really really gonna need ya'll.....cus I'm not gonna be able to tell ANYBODY the entire story but ya'll and my parents and I can't really talk to them about it cus there's intimate stuff too .....

If I tell people at church it WILL get around ....Deanna is already gonna know that I knew about it so I probably won't be welcome around her anymore which is perfect with me....and I was thinking even that maybe I would be able to go with him the first time he headed that way..like the move maybe I could go with him and stay a lil while (a week at most) and come back......this is all assuming I dont have a job yet which I may...but yeah

and he told me..you realize if you hadn't told me you'd be okay I would have never even considered it right and I was like yeah baby I know but that would mean the only reason you were staying here was because of me...and he was like..well yes...and I was like if I was in oklahoma would you still be here? and he said hell no I would have been in oklahoma a long time ago and I said well we'll be okay...our relationship is NOT going to get any weaker and we're gonna be just fine I promise you that..and I'm still gonna see you everything is gonna be great and he was like yeah I know I just never really thought about it
....but yeah..okay if youv'e gotten this far you're my hero lol PLLEEAASEE respond cus I'd really like someones input about the situation that isn't actually emotionally attached....love ya'll!!
I'll keep ya'll updated....

~Nykole

"An it harm none, do what ye will."
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