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Old October 11th, 2015, 03:58 PM  
Join Date: August 7, 2012
Location: Ireland
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: How did you first find out you were gay or bi?

Lol, my coming out was a weird situation.

So I was going out with a girl for like a year, and then during that time I was kinda starting to fancy other guys, but I didn't think much of it, blamed it on "curiosity and hormones" yeah, aha, I used that old excuse....

So over time I dated multiple other girls, and just wasn't really enjoying the experience that much, and that's when gay porn and flirting with guys started to happen. So for a while I labelled myself as curious, and then I jumped to the next stepping stone, bisexual. So for a while I was "bisexual" and all was fine, I convinced myself I still liked girls, and liked guys on the side. So I continued with this for a year, and told my close friends. Over this time, I grew way further away from liking women, to liking men. I was determined I wasn't gay, and I was bi. How wrong was I..... Anyway, I was out as "bi" to my close friends and things were going "fine" like that for a while. Then one night I was talking with a friend, and we were on the topic of my sexuality for whatever reason, and he just straight up said to me "I know you're gay, why don't you just admit it" and of course I got angry, and battled him about this for well over 2 hours on FB, and we both cooled down and he said it again, and behind my computer screen something inside me clicked.... I was hiding my real self for so damn long, and it hurt me each day. I broke down. Majorly, broke down. I began to well up and I just burst into uncontrollable sobbing. I just said yes to him. Yes, yes, yes. It had been in front of my eyes since I was probably 12 or 13 and I couldn't admit it to myself until I was 16. For years, it just tore away at me. I chuckle looking back on this time now, how naive I was, and how I tried to convince myself I was "normal", but since coming out I've realised this is who I have always been, the real me, the NORMAL me. I lived a lie far too long, and it took a toll. Since coming out, I've been so much happier with myself. I've been true and honest, and a weight has been lifted from me. My advice to anyone who is struggling with their sexuality, screw what anyone else thinks. Be yourself, be true and be happy!! You won't regret it, and it'll hurt you far less than the pain of lying to youself for years.
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