Thread: Religion
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Old August 14th, 2015, 03:43 PM  
Jean Poutine
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Name: Tony
Join Date: September 27, 2006
Location: Canada
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Blog Entries: 8
Default Re: Religion

Religion is a weird thing for me.

Since I was about 14 I've felt something calling me to a life of religious contemplation, either as a priest or as a monk, but at the same time I lack faith. I'm a staunch agnostic and I've always felt like faith was impossible for me, that I just don't have the capacity.

So I'm stuck in the uncomfortable position of feeling attracted to a life in the service of something I don't particularly believe in. When I was younger I wanted to be a priest but these days I would rather be a monk. I read about monks and God, that life sounds absolutely perfect. A true utopia. If I could fix my faith problem I think I would be off to the monastery as soon as my studies are done.

But I really can't. People say they look all around and see God, so I look all around and I just see grass, flowers, trees, people, birds. There's no signature, no real feeling that this world needed a creator. Some say they look inwards, so I look inwards and feel only void. Always felt that way, empty inside. I think it's due to my being very bad with emotions. Some say to ask Him to show Himself to you, so I do, and he never does.

So I guess I can't answer the call.

Jean Poutine, LL.B.
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