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Old April 2nd, 2015, 01:28 PM   #1
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ValentinClarke's Forum Picture
Join Date: February 2, 2014
Gender: Cisgender Male
Default I don't even know...

Okay, so I know that it's annoying to have someone think that they have a mental illness, but I just want to know. I'm worried you know.

For a couple months or so, I have had these feelings, of not being real, and I am so paranoid it is unbelievable. I always think that I am not real, nor is anyone else in my life, and that's how I have coped with many things in my life now. My paranoia is so bad, not just about people saying stuff behind my back, or looking at me, but I keep thinking that they can see and hear everything I think. And it creeps me out so much. The teachers at my school tried to assess me once, because I told one that I had heard this voice. This voice told me that "it's all my fucking fault". And they tried to assess me, but I hid it, I knew what to hide and how. I didn't want my mother to find out. I always smell things which aren't there, and I have had a couple occurances where I felt a hand go down my back, or stroke my leg, even when it's impossible. I even have another persona in my head, who is called Valentin. And he is the destructive part of me, and I argue with him in my head, and there's a third voice in my head aswell, which I don't know what it's called. But Valentin is literally like telling me that people are lying, that people are talking about me, that I need to punch someone. And my mood swings are so extreme. I switch at a little thing, and I will be so close to throwing something, then I will be fine again, I know this happens with hormones, but this doesn't feel like that at all.
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