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Old September 15th, 2004, 03:15 PM  
A Pleaser
Join Date: June 29, 2004
Location: somewhere in a galaxy far far away...
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Default something you should know

this is who i am, who i am becoming, who i will stay, i wish it was different

my life is falling apart
i have too much to do
im treated as an child
but talked to like an adult
im asked to help others
but others hurt me
i can hold it all together
but i cant remeber being happy
i am happy for short periods
but it all ends in pain
i will never do somthing to hurt me
nothing to hurt others
but i cant do it alone
i need someone to stay with me
someone to love me
i met my true love at 5
lost her at 10
i'v lived a full life
im only 14
i feel as if im old
i want to just sleep and die
but im only 14 so i must continue
but i cant, i cant
i wont do somthing to hurt me
nothing to hurt others.
is there somthing wrong with me?
i live to many lives
i tell my friends one thing
my family another
my teachers another
my mom another
my dad another
my brother another
i tell them all lies,
im learning to tell the truth...
but i can only tell it to myself
i can only tell me because i dont even know the truth
i've hid so much
who am i?
who the fuck am i?
i dont know, i dont want to
but i must
i never want to be alone
i want to live with someone i love
who loves me bak
with children that love my
i cant because my peers veiw me as strange
because of my size
because of my weight
because of my brain
ppl have asked me for help
and laughed at me behind my bak
i love a gurl i dont know why
she doesnt like my i try to let her go
i cant because i dont know why i like her
she is mean sometimes
she would never treat me the way i would treat her
so i search i search
i find others i love others
i learned why and i want to forget but i cant
she looks like my old girlfriend,
my soul mate, that i lost because i was only 10
i had to move, she had to move
its not my fault.
i want someone to love me.
now i know that will save me.
i sicken my self when i lose it
i dont hurt myself
i dont hurt others
i just do somthing i regret,
say somthing to get a cheap laugh
i want to cry.
but i cant
i want to stop
i stoped crying
but i starts
i cant stop
i hate my self
i want to kill my self but i cant
because im afraid
im afraid because i was put down
my self esteme was shot
what ever will i have is gone
im to far in to get out
no way i can get out
everything i think can save me might
but i will never get what i need
what i want
because i cant
i never have
i never will
my life is falling apart
i wont hurt myself
i wont hurt others
i need help.....

My Views Are Odd, I am Accutally a Republican
i dont suffer from insanity, i enjoy it
i swear to drunk im not god

pm me if anyone needs any kind of help, i probly know the answer you seek
i got a new email...
its gmail! it is: [email protected]
boognish is offline   Reply With Quote