Am I Gay?... Opinions wanted.
Let me start first by saying that I do believe I am heterosexual, but I cannot get the possibility of being gay out of my mind. I am 20 now, and I haven't had much experience with girls. I have concentrated on school, and my lack of physical attractiveness is also a contributing factor. However, let me say that the experience I have had was awesome, and I have never doubted that I thoroughly enjoyed it. I am not turned on by men in any way. The idea of being with one disgusts me. I think women are beautiful, and I love spening time with women vs. men. The thing that has called my sexuality into question is somewhat ridiculous, but I find myself thinking about it several times a day. One morning after I made a gay joke or possibly called my friend a fag (I forget which), he responded by stating that I disliked gay people because I was gay and afraid to admit it. I shrugged it off at the time, but sense then it has haunted me. I do honestly believe that I am straight, but I think because it so hard to be gay in our society, I am so afraid of what might happen if I truly was. I know my parents would reject me, and I know life would be much harder. I also know that I love women and hope to end up with a special one someday. Let me restate that I believe I am not gay, and I am not attracted to men in the least. Maybe, I am homophobic. Although, I do not fear gay people, and I function fine around them. I have never been so distraught over something totally mental in my life, and I find this is eating up way too much time and productivity. Please, help to shed light on my problem.