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Old August 29th, 2013, 11:33 AM   #38
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Name: Caitlin
Join Date: March 22, 2011
Location: Climbin' in yo windows, snatchin' yo people up
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: Do you have OCD? Answers from another obsessive-compulsive

I am diagnosed with moderate/severe OCD.

*I hear voices telling me to do rituals, if I try not to or am unable; there is a panic and a fear of something bad happening; that later encourages my tics
*My tics are: blinking really hard a certain # of times, which eye it is differs daily; another is picking & biting my cuticles until they bleed, another (in really stressful situations) is rubbing my neck with my palm until it's raw, and another is rubbing the insides of my fingers together. (doing it a certain number of times)
*It has gotten better recently; but from age 11-14 I would wash my hands until they cracked, bled, and were raw and sensitive. Now I only do it with sticky/powdery substances instead of after everything I touch. I had to use hand sanitizer, rubber gloves, etc. in the past.
*I have to straighten my eyelashes. I am constantly using my finger to smooth them; I hate the thought that they wouldn't all go in the same direction. xD This leads to me constantly getting eye irritations.
*When I'm walking down a sidewalk, I cannot step on the block separators. I can step on cracks, just not the straight separators.
*When I am pacing/tapping my hand, I have to do it a certain # of times, then I have to do it an equal number of times on the other hand. Sometimes it will feel unbalanced, and I'll keep tapping to get it to feel right.
*I am mostly okay with mess (I used to have to organize everything, now not so much). Currently instead of cleaning strewn objects; I have to do certain tasks, like, turn the fish aquarium light off. In this example, I'll already be in bed and I can't fall asleep unless I do it.
*I will constantly rake my fingers through my hair, trying to get it straight. I do this all day.
* Sometimes I will have an impulse to say/whisper something, usually offensive, out loud; and if I don't do it I will get that panic/bad thing; so I give in. The same goes with certain actions, usually dangerous ones.
*I have impulses that there are germs/diseases crawling in my skin & I have to sanitize my skin/ wash my hands.
*I do things in even numbers- it usually ranges in number, but they're always even.
*I worry constantly about things I did/didn't do and I have to constantly check them over & over
*I can't touch most things with my palm or I will panic from the germs
*I can't usually shake people's hands without having to wash my hands
*I have constant worry about how I look and I constantly check in the mirror to look at my stomach. I know I'm skinny, but I still see fat; which is another form of ocd
*In public situations, I always have to be in control of things.

I'm 30 shades of fricked up, kay? xD

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