So start over again. I know you can fight this, Addi, I've seen you do it. Make up your mind that you're going to fight it, and then apply yourself and commit to it. If you just accept that you're a failure and that all you'll ever amount to is a hopeless self-harmer, that's all that will happen. But if you realize, like I do, that you're far from hopeless and very strong when you really try, you'll find that you have the capability in you to beat this. I know you will.