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Old June 13th, 2013, 02:01 PM   #1
Miserabilia
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Name: dan/johnny foreigner/cheesee
Join Date: June 1, 2013
Location: my house basicly
Age: 18
Gender: Cisgender Male
Question

(sorry for the long text! I just really wish someone knows about this because I don't)
Okay so I've posted a few things about what bothers me before, so here is it put together, and some examples, please tell me what it is, i can't go on like this anymore:
------
Here are a few examples of how I feel:

-When closets aren't closed properly or things lay down a certain way I get crazy and move it.I also lay my food on my plate in a specific way. I read this is one of the OCD symtpoms, organizing and stuff.

-Here's the scary thing:
I never thought I whould have OCD, but only lately I have noticed:
I count everything. I count everything and use numbers and seconds for everything. I wait exacactly 2 seconds before taking the next bite after I swallowed previous ( yes i count it always ) even on my computer i count, always when I want to reload a page I wait 2 seconds.
When I turn off my speakers and tv screen, i first turn off the speakers and wait exactly 5 seconds before turning the screen of. These are just some random examples. With basicly everything I do I count to:
.2
.5
.10
(and yes I count all this conciously)


-Here's another example of something that always bothers me:
When i am eating dinner, and something is wrong, like something is moving in the background or laying in on the table in a weird way, all the sound and colour fades away and ebverything focus on that one thing. I really want to change it.
This is also why I am often wearing headphones, even when I'm not listening to anything etc, just to lock out that feeling

Also, there is this thing i have always had:
I always feel like there is something "wrong" .
Its just a feeling I can't explain in words, and it only goes away when I change something in the room.
Sometimes, I can't figure out what it is and it gets me angry and i want to hit something and somtimes i do.

And one more thing: when I am walking around, i NEVER know what to do with my hands. I always have to do something with them, put them in my pockets, hold something, move my fingers around. if I don't i just feel them hanging there and i feel so weird...

So anyway, sorry for all the text.... I hope someone will read this and know something to help me ):

I am really going crazy becauses of these things...


I also don't know if their is anything I can do to relax a little, I am either really excited in a weird way, or very unhappy and silent

I've also noticed sometimes I just randomly want to hit something because I don't lke how it is, which is hard to explain

sorry that i'm posting this instead of editing the thread, its not letting me edit it for some reason.


Posts Merged. It's alright, I've merged them.
~ Reveuse

shout at the world because the world doesn't love you

lower yourself because you know that you have to.

Last edited by Miserabilia; June 12th, 2015 at 05:02 PM.
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