I hope no one is annoyed by your posts. You should at least try to find a couple friends. One of my dad's Co-workers sons killed himself, even though I never met him I felt sad. I had hoped one day I would meet him, then my dad comes home and says he killed himself. His mom and dad were devastated. Just try your best and don't give up. You can talk to me anytime on AIM @ jimjim567.
You do have friends, all of us here.