View Single Post
Old December 7th, 2007, 07:48 AM  
New Member
Join Date: December 6, 2007
Gender: Male
Default Re: Depressed about sexual confusion

hi, im going thru the exact same problem atm, n im the same age as u wer then. tbh n i dont mean to speak bad of those who are, but i wud rather kill myself, and hav thought about it rather than be gay. or considered hypnosis. all i seemed to do was obsess about it over and over again. n things that hav afftected me also are the fact that the media seems showing alot of homosexual men, its become widely accepted, i hav a gay uncle n it scares me that its in my genes as a person. i also hav a girl thats exactly like u hav/ had. i get scared of having gay mannerisms. i pick up on small things on tv which look gay and gay ppl in general scare me. i am just totally against it in my mind, i mean not that those who are are in some way disturbed or anythin, lyk u sed, its jst not me to be that way inclined. also over the last year alot of girls i know hav turned bi-sexual, i had a very traumatic break up with a long term girlfriend of many years who i loved. also i hav lost alot of family and friends and generally i feel lost and confused in the world seeing how ppl really are nasty to one another. even when i get up from bed it lays on my mind, ive cried many times with not understanding why ihav the same sexual desire and libido i once had for girls. without being big headed i used to be absolutely mad about girls and especially sex with them. but then one night i was out in town wiv a load of m8s n i tried pills for the first time and since then its just changed my who outlook on life. i think its more confusion than anything else. but last night i had a dream that my gf was taken away from me n it really hit home that i luv n do hav sexual desires towards her. jst cant understand why my body is doin this to me??? there are many many other factors that plague my mind that i obsess upon all day. i jst want to be the way i was and sory but i do treat this (atleast for me) as some sort of mental disorder that i hav created by myself by trying to analyse it to death about what makes ppl hav sexual desires towards one another, im dorry i hav absolutely nothing against gay ppl, its jst not for me. really hope it clears up. life really seems alien to me atm. i think if i jst let my mind rest i will be okay.
helpisneeded is offline