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Old January 4th, 2013, 10:25 AM  
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Amaryllis's Forum Picture
Name: Z
Join Date: June 27, 2011
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 12
Default Re: Non Self Harm Calendar!

Honestly? Lost track. About a year.

It gets easier, that I can tell you with an almost certainty. At the beginning, it's hell trying not to cut, all the emotions just threaten to choke you and rip you apart. But if you make yourself do something else - write, shower, listen to happy or unrelated music, sleep's always a good one for me, or lie in bed - you will eventually move pass the strongest of the urges. After a few months, you really don't want to cut, because of the inconveniences and restrictions it brings you.

When I used to want to cut, I would remind myself of what I hate most about self-harming: cleaning up. Wiping up all that blood, washing up, covering the wounds, gingerly walking around... It was all so much work.

Anyway, believe me, it's worth it. Once you stop cutting, everything just seems to fall into place somehow. Cutting's a relief when you're doing it, but afterwards it somehow succeeds in making you more miserable than you already am. I find not keeping track of the days helpful as well. When I counted the days, well, firstly, the moment I broke my record, I would just give up and decide to keep breaking it. Secondly, you just think too much about it. When you try to just get through the need as it comes rather than going Day 1, Day 2, it's easier somehow. But that's just me.

Anyway, I wish you all the best and do feel free to ask me for any advice or help You're amazing for trying to stop and I believe you will. Think of it as a bad habit, you can beat it.

Take care.

"Never test the depth of water with both feet." - Some dude whose name I cannot remember
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