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Old November 7th, 2007, 06:41 PM  
angryhalfdemon
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Join Date: November 5, 2007
Location: Ontario, most of the time... sometimes in my head
Gender: Male
Default Re: What is it like to have schizophrenia?

I could tell you a bit about schizophrenia. I have great insight into it.. seeing as I developed it last year after a very traumatic chain of stressful events.

( I'm better now, but still crazy)

Well, when I was extremely crazy, I had the delusion that a demon (with no name. he never told me it) was living inside my head, sort of connected to my spirit. He tormented me with visions, nightmares, halucinations of my friends. He spoke to me with their voices when I was alone, and I answered back all the time. He sometimes spoke with his own voice (which was pretty creepy *o*) and told me to do bad things, usually violent things. I ignored most of them, but he tricked me once by telling me physical pain would cover up my emotional pain, and I started hurting myself.

I also had many periods where I lost control of my emotions and became destructively spontaneous, and other periods where I became a dead shell void of any emotion. I wrote dark things in a diary with my blood.

I remember having the desire constantly to not do anything, just sit and think. I retreated into my mind a lot, where I enjoyed many wild flights of fantasy where I was a demon that used it's blood to kill everyone around me...

I was very sick. I went to a psychiatrist though, now I can control my disorder ( and i did it without meds too!!!)

But yeah, Schizophrenia is very twisted. And I agree, there is a religious aspect to it too.
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