Can I beleive myself...
Right after I started SHing again, I feel.... Good. I think it's my Gf (read my diary) that's helping me back on my feet. maybe this is what was making me fall all the time. Maybe I was just lonely this whole time, and maybe I just needed someone who cared. This is the first time in at least three years, that I've been full of hapiness. I feel like I'm just.... free, free of whatever the hell it was that had me trapped.