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Old November 3rd, 2007, 06:18 AM  
The Resurrected One
Name: Johnny K
Join Date: January 11, 2007
Location: Canada
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Originally Posted by sage of craze View Post
A man's elbow was hurting him and he was talking about it in the workroom, asking if he should go to the doctors, a friend of his replied 'no, there's this new machine in the mall that cost only 10 dollars, takes 10 mintes and all you have to do is pour in a urine sample. The man used the machine and 10 minutes later a sheet of paper shot out saying

You have tennis elbow, soak in warm water for the next week and it will be fine

The man was mystified to the point that he decided to mess with the machine. He mixed his urine with, his wife's, his daughter's, his dog's stool, tap water, and then he ejaculated in the mixture just to be sure. He went back to the machine and waited 10 minutes. Finally a sheet of paper shot out saying:

1. Your tap water is dirty, clean your pipes
2. Your dog has worms, take him to the vet
3. Your daughter has a cocain addiction, take her to rehab
4. Your wife is pregnate, twin girls, they're not yours, get a lawer
5. Do you really expect your tennis elbow to get better if you keep playing with yourself?
Haha, that was kinda funny.

But how did the guy get urine samples of his daughter?

Originally Posted by sage of craze View Post
A gay man, a rich man and an alcohalic all die and go to hell. After one year of begging they were allowed onto earth on one condition. The gay man couldn't have any kind of sex with men, the rich guy could not touch not one penny, and the alcohalic can not have one drop of alcohal. Well they were all walking down the street and they passed a bar, the drunk went in and decided that he was thirsty 'one drop wouldn't hurt' he drank one drop and POOF he was sent back to hell. The rich man and the gay man were still walking down the street when the rich man saw a penny. He bent down to pick it up and POOF both the rich man and the gay man were sent to hell
I don't get this one.
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