"She wont believe me when i say i want to fix my mistakes and fix my problems."
Do you really?
Sorry but how I read it, it seems like you want to stay the same without any type of consequence. Have you ever sat down and talked to her about it? No fighting, or anything, just talking. Have you told her why you turned to drugs, and have you told her what you think about how she is "helping" it?
“Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.”
-Calvin & Hobbes.