Re: I'm so sick of trying to change.
The circumstances in which you are in would not make you stable as you can see and therefore any form of explanations either on writing or with verbal communication cannot make an impact on you. After all it is you who has to come out of the mess you are in. I can only say life is too precious to waste it by the means you have depicted. Why do you want to change at all? Try to lead a normal life and see if it helps without applying pressure on your mind that you need to change, I am sure you will get the support of your family and friends so why not give it a try mate?