Re: i want him now that he's leaving!
actually, haha, one of the topics i posted was "i want what i can't have" i guess its true. in the past year, i've wanted 2 guys that already have a girlfriend, a guy who doesnt want a girlfriend, and then this guy. i actually had a sorta boyfriend, but as soon as we were girlfriend/boyfriend, i didnt want to be with him anymore.
i am pretty competative, but i still usually feel guilty for liking them. i am lonely. i have no idea why i am the way i am. i think about it often but decide its just bad luck.
even if i didnt have a crush on him, he's still a good friend and i would still miss him. especially since i spent lunch with him today and he told me he misses me. if i don't hang out with him before he goes, the rest of my friends would hate me for being a bad friend. so i'll have to keep spending time with him. and i really want to spend time with him.
but i keep imagining what it would be like when i say goodbye. i'm going to hug him and give him a kiss on the cheek and tell him to come back in 2 weeks. i'm not good at hiding my feelings but i know it wouldnt be smart to get any closer than i already am, because yeah, i'll end up missing him a lot more for a very long time. but at the same time i want him to know how i feel so badly because i know he likes me too. so idk.