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Old August 17th, 2007, 05:30 PM  
Paige1989
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Join Date: August 14, 2007
Location: Northern VA, USA
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Default Mental Breakdown

Today, I was online and a good friend of mine told me she got her provisional driver's license...usually, I'd be happy for her, but this is the fourth or fifth friend of mine to get their license before me and they're all younger than me - I'm two-and-a-half months from eighteen. So instead of being happy, I completely lost it. It was a good thing I was on the computer and could mask it, but I was crying, thinking of self-harm, etc. Finally, I calmed down enough to call another friend and that helped a bit, then I called someone else who had experience with self-harm herself, and that helped as well...but what helped the most was going to Books-a-Million (local book store) and buying two fictional books on psychiatric subjects - one on suicidal people in a hospital and the other on someone who sold psychiatric drugs on the street. Strangely, this made me feel much better. I'm not sure how normal that is, but now I'm calm and collected...I mean, books generally calm me down, but books of that nature?? Especially in the mood I already was in...Not sure about this at all. I think my breakdown was caused by a culmulation of things - start of school coming up, the license thing, and a couple other small reasons and they all built up until I couldn't handle it...

~~Paige

[SIZE="1"]remember when;; getting high meant swinging at the playground;; the problem about boys was cooties;; mom was your hero && dad was super man;; your worst enemies were your siblings;; race issues were about who ran the fastest ;; war was just a card game;; life was simple && carefree;; but what I remember most was;; wanting to grow up;;
Then I did...Where's the rewind button?
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