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Old August 10th, 2007, 11:46 PM  
Name: Valerie
Join Date: June 12, 2007
Location: PA
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 12
Default Ok. I need some input.

So. Put yourself in my shoes.

You've got a best friend who's amazing. You fall for him.
blah blah you know the story.

You start dating...but it's really awkward. You don't know what's wrong but something is. No one did anything to the other, you just suddenly fell apart.

He tells you, "Maybe I just don't have time for a relationship right now. Life's so hectic." You ask if maybe you can try again when life isn't so hectic. He says maybe, if that time ever comes.

You try to stay friends. I mean come on, you had an AMAZING relationship before, you should be able to rebuild that, shouldn't you? Despite that awful month where you wanted to die every time you thought about him, even though you were supposed to be in a care-filled relationship.

Being friends doesn't work. He does and says a couple of things that upset you, because you're still tender from your recent let-down. A long period passes when you don't say a word to each other- he even looks the other way when you're near and pretends you don't exist. You send him a text one night, "Hey, how you been?" He doesn't respond. A week later you see he's on facebook and comment his wall, "Heyy long time no talk. How you been?" He signs off without responding, signs on and off again later, still without responding. Then you see something that makes your heart stop.

He's in a new relationship.

All the thoughts that have been swirling around in your head come flooding back, and you're forced to believe they were all true. He lied- he obviously has time for a relationship, he just didn't want to say he didn't want one with YOU. Even when you were dating, you feared this was the case. Now you have no doubt. You're absolutely crushed, you feel sick to your stomach, you feel like beating him to a pulp. This person in whom you invested all your emotions with such high hopes, this person who you thought could fill this gaping hole in you, this person who seemed like a dream come true, had utterly betrayed you. And now he wouldn't even speak to you.

So tell me. Am I being irrational? Am I being THAT girlfriend? B/c you know I've always prided myself on being above the stereotypes, thinking for myself, using common sense, etc. I don't want to be the typical bitter ex who wallows in self pity because SHE couldn't have him, because he chose someone else. I mean, do you see where I'm coming from? Do you see why I'm so upset? Please tell me, because I need someone who's not on my inner circle to tell me I'm justified in my feelings. Of course I can't really figure out exactly what those feelings are- rage, depression, shock, etc etc, the list goes on. But yeah. I mean. Frigging a.
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