I know that are tons of girls and boys out there that are forming an ED or trying to break an ED.
I'm one of those girls trying to gain an ED.
I went through stages of being fat and then dropping down to being skinny. I would buy a pair of jeans and lose as much weight as I could before I could fit perfectly into the jeans or to the point where the jeans were too big on my body. I remained at a good weight due to doing cheer leading back in the day. I went away from cheer leading and regained all my weight. I was about 5"1 and weighed about 135. I felt horrible.
I break down and cry, like seriously cry when I look at myself in the mirror. People tell me all the time to focus on the good things about me and I find probably a few or none. I look at my body and scream because I hate it so much. I look at shit that triggers EDS like photos, videos, blogs or messages from people.
I look at food like it's a demon, a mistake. I feel extremely weak right after I eat or when I think about food. I feel sick after eating food, even when I don't eat a lot. I went a few days without food and it felt good. Also, the burning stomach feeling is amazing. My stomach seems to be so small, where food presses down on my stomach and causes pain.
I thought for the longest time I had BDD and come to find out I do. My finace tried to put me on this diet and I couldn't stand it. I wanted something that attacked my fat and got rid of it fast, pretty fast.
I want to become skinny. So skinny that my rib cage sticks out. Call it sick or whatever but it's my choice.
Someone PM me or help. :[
Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer.
Do you know you're unlike any other, and I said.
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors.
I don't ever wanna love another.
You'll always be my thunder. <3