Thread: Tips?
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Old August 5th, 2007, 05:31 PM  
shurikenMarch
New Member
 
Join Date: November 24, 2006
Location: South Wales
Age: 28
Default Tips?

Okay, here we go...

My OCD got worse when I reached sixth form (I think because - more free time, so your not concentrating as much so your mind wonders. Also, the classes are smaller (from 25-30 down to 8-10) so it's harder to mask the compulsions wich leads to stress which in turn leads back to more obsessions).
As I mentioned in a previous thread, the people who I respect the most are the ones that appear most often in my obsessions. In my case, these people are my teachers (yes, it might sound 'sad' to some but seeing as my year was the first year in the school we became closer than usual with the teachers and in sixth form everything is more relaxed and there are more lessons so you bond more with them).
To help deal with the obsessions I'd perform rituals in school (e.g. 1. whenever I walked outside past one's classroom I'd look at a certain window, nod, look away and click; 2. whenever I walked down the corridor and past their door I'd click; 3. Before entering the classroom, click and tap either side of the door frame). These did help untill half terms, and summer holidays were tough going.

Last year (at the start of year 13) I developed stronger feelings for one of the teachers. The thoughts started off sexual which were sometimes quite disturbing. Then they turned really violent. On bad days it was 50 minutes of every hour. I couldn't make them go away even with the above repetitions, they didn't help. Whenever I tried to sit down and do work in the school library I couldn't concentrate, to the point where I had to walk down the corridor past his classroom to convince myself that he was safe. I don't know why I thought anything could have happened to him but I had to make sure anyway. That did help.

But now it's the summer holidays again and the worst of the thoughts are back. I just keep wanting to know that he's safe. I always think of 'what if...?' questions and it drives me crazy.

So I guess the point of this thread was to ask if anyone has any 'tips' on how to deal with this apart from drugs and doctors.

Thanks for reading.

sM
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