Have some questions
I'v been wandering if I was bi-polar for a while now. I'v done quite a lot of reading up on the internet and stuff, and at one point I went to a doctor to talk about depression... But i never really gave him a chance because I found it to hard to talk about things. Anyway he said something about refering me to a psyciatric ward so I could talk to somebody who specialised in teen depression... but at hearing that I freaked and stopped talking to the doctor and I lied and told him I felt fine .. so that didn't work. Anyway so I have some questions about bipolar.
1. Can you ever have long periods of time/short periods of time where you feel pretty normal. Like not depressed and not hyper active ?
2. I have a really common thing where I just rant about something. All this random stuff just keeps coming out of my mouth so quickly I don't even think about what I'm saying its just so automatic. It's normaly either me telling a random pointless story of something that happend (true things) or me complaining about something really small that really bugs me. Most of the time my friends just laugh when I do it... well I can see why I'm sure it's really funny.. but all of them say that I do it so often and it's very much something they associate me with. I was wandering if that might have anything to do with bipolar ? (Also I do it on MSN messenger, i start typing extremley fast sending hundreds of messages in minute all me ranting about something without thinking)
3. When I get hyper (mania ?) I don't tend to do things that people would concider dangerous... like I wouldn't try to jump of a high building thinking I would be fine or something, the most dangerous thing I'v ever done is run accros a road when theres no traffic lights ... I just kinda walk into the road and hope I can dodge any cars. (I generaly tell people I do that because I hate waiting for the lights and people also seem to associate me not waiting and walking into roads with me). I also don't have too many symptoms of mania, I mostly get very hyper and run around and shout really loudly, talk very fast and laugh for so long at very small often un-funny things. I often walk straight accross roads, rant off about everything/anything/nothing. I tend to start wandering why I was ever sad/depressed, why I ever felt like that and wander how I could have thought that I had a horrible life and that from now on things will change and I will feel amazing all the time, but then that doesnt happen and I get depressed again and think goodnes how did I think I had changed (sorry if that bit was confusing). So do I actualy get manic or what ?
4. I sometimes get so angry or I feel like I should be very angry but I can't see that I am.. it's really hard to explain. I also get very very irritable and the smallest things annoy me.. I'v started crying a few times because stupid things got to me and I'v got really mad at people because they said something / did something that just pissed me off so much. I'v never got so mad that I'v thrown chairs around or shouted at a teacher or something drastic I just feel extremly pissed off and want to shout but I never seem to... I'm not sure if that has any significance ?
I can't think of other questions just now but I did have one .. which I have forgotten so I will add if I remember.
Thanks for any answers.
Last edited by Miss.Suicide; August 4th, 2007 at 09:06 AM.