Pirate Joke (I got it from a book)
Person: Hey, you're a pirate!
Pirate: Yes, I am.
Person: You look so f***ing cool! You got an eyepatch, a hook, and a peg leg!
Person: How did you get the peg leg?
Pirate: A shark bit my leg off.
Person: Awesome! How did you get the hook?
Pirate: I lost my hand in a swordfight.
Person: Cool, dude! How did you get the eyepatch?
Pirate: A bird dropping fell into my eye.
Person: You lost your eye to a bird dropping?
Pirate: Well, it was my first day with the hook...