OK, here's one for the Bandos...if you're not a bando, you just can't appreciate it. Lol I crack up every time
Two college girls shared an apartment in the city. One night, one of the girls had a date with a trumpet player. When she returned from the date, her roomate asked how it went. The girl answered, "Ugh it was awful- he was a terrible kisser. His lips were all thin and tight. Plus he was SUCH an egomaniac!!"
The next week, the girl had a date with a tuba player. When she got back her roomate asked how it went. She said, "Oh man it was disgusting, his lips were enormous and he slobbered all over me, and he was just a big, goofy idiot. I could NEVER have a relationship with him!"
Then the next week, the girl had a date with a french horn player. When she got home at the end of the night her roomate again asked her how it went. The girl said, "Oh, it was fine, nothing too special....but I LOVED the way he held me!"