Re: 50 in a night... v.v
god i hate it when that happens, you think your doing so well and then you have a massive relapes but it happens to everyone when they try to stop cutting, sometime i look at how long i haven't cut and then i panic and think that if i don't cut all hell well break loose and i'll lose control again.
if thats the case for you too i've found that it happens becuase you don't cut for ages and everything builds up and then when you do cave in, it's extreme, before you stop cutting you need to find a way to get some sort of release other than cutting, becuase you need a constand way of release then you will find you can go for longer without cutting, for me i finding writing helps alot.
what ever you do tho don't look at it as if you've failed, look at it in a posstive way, you went so far without cutting now try and better it, and look at what made you go back to your old ways and next time your about to relapes try and remember what your feeling now, and it will help you to go a bit futher even if it is just an extra week ontop of what you did this time it's still improving.
ok so you had a bad night, but don't beat your self up about it try and move on as quick as you can if it's easier try and blank out the fact that you cut at all, make up in your head that insted of cutting that night you were actually doing something else.
i hope that some of this will be helpful