My Dad died when I was 8 years old. At the time I was to young to understand it so i just ignored it, never accepted it. I have always questioned life since then. I never thought I was depressed but I've read a few things on depression and think I might be. At school and with my family I probably come across as a perfectly normal person. Maybe even to you reading this I seem o.k. I am pretty sure I am not. I have self-harmed a few times. I did it just to remind me that I am alive because things feel so un-real at times. I have a good family and good friends. My dad died quite a few years ago so why should I feel like this. I don't enjoy life anymore and treat it like a thing you just have to do. Not that long ago all I would think about was suicide, I realise now that that would be giving in. Everday may be a struggle, as it is for so many others, but I will struggle onwards. I do not want to ask for help from my mum or freinds because I fear they will just say I'm being dramatic or something. Besides i never feel my mum inderstands she's more of a "career-focused" person. Pays people to do everything...including look after her children. Sorry if I sound as if I am moaning. But I felt as if making this post would help me say things that I have always feared saying.