Re: suicide or not
I've also got a shitload of diagnoses (sp). It sucks. I've wanted to, and tried to, kill my self several times. Believe me, every time I have woken up, I have been glad I failed. Because I realised things would start to get better. I hope the same can happen for you, without the suicide attempts.
Feel free to PM me too.
Seven melons will fall from the sky, and prophesy unto the heathens, who will proclaim: "HOLY SHIT! Talking melons!"