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Old April 4th, 2012, 07:37 AM  
Professional Russian
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Name: Bert
Join Date: June 20, 2011
Location: Murrica, Fuck Yeah
Gender: Male
Default Re: Jokes and Riddles

Condom Boxes

A man walks into a drug store with his 10 year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"

To which the man replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh, I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"

The Dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday."

"Cool, says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men." the Dad answers, "Two for Friday, Two for Saturday and Two for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks with bright eyes, picking up the 12 pack.

With a sigh, the Dad replied, "Those are for married men, one for January, one for February, one for March, one for April......................
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Biker's Good Deed
A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a woman about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he didn't want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity either, so he asked... "Well, before you jump why don't you give me a kiss?" So she does... And it was a long, deep, passionate, lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever had! That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why in the world would you want to commit suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl." The authorities think she may have been pushed.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aotearoa View Post
What a fuckin miracle.
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