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Old July 11th, 2007, 01:08 PM  
Name: Valerie
Join Date: June 12, 2007
Location: PA
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Blog Entries: 12
Default Re: Womb's Purgatory

I have to be honest, I'm not a big fan of sci-fi, so I had to read through this a few times to really get into it. My preferences aside, it is written well. I have two pieces of constructive criticism:

The boy struggled, trying to lift it off, but the hands fought him and guided his arms through more holes.
Since you just used 'struggle' a couple sentences prior, it sounds rather repetitive here.

He didn’t even know how to say it. His fingers stroked the tattoo, like it would give him answers.
Because of the style of writing, 'like' is too casual to really be correct. I suggest replacing it with 'as if,' it just fits better.

Alright, there's my 2 cents. Other than that, it's good and I've enjoyed reading so far.
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