Join Date: July 6, 2007
Location: New York
Hi, I am Adam, and i just recently introduced myself. I decided to write on this forum, to get opinions from both sexs. As I get older I keep having sexual feelings that really stress me put. I just want to let everyone know, that I am not one of thos people who want to be part of societys "Norm", of being straight. I feel, that Gays, Lesbians, and Bisexuals, are just as equal as Straights, and if there is a heaven, they will be up their along with straights.
Anyway, like others I am having a hard time with my orientation. You see, I am 18, but I never been with a woman. As smart as I may be, I am still a very shy person, and don'r know how to approach women. So I don't even know whats its like to kiss a female. All my life, I considered myself straight, not because of what society says is normal, but because I say so. Naturally I feel, my heart and soul belongs with women and only women. When I hit the age of 14, I fealt I knew my sexual orientation. Even if I saw a gay scene in a movie, it did not excite me or arouse me, But if I saw lesbians, that aroused me.
When I look back to my childhood, I remember watching wrestling, and getting aroused ounce in a while, and had no prolem with it. Of coarse I got aroused by women, but sometimes the men would to. When I hit the age of fourteen, I realized that maybe I was going through a phase, because at this point I was only attracted to a woman, and if I ever lost my virginity, I would not want to loose it to a man.
I even tried testing my sexuality. Like I said, if I so gay websites, or a gay scene on a movie, I would not get attracted to it. Even watching men wrestling didn't turn me on. It was owmen, and womwn only. Like a tipical man, I love action and watch wrestling. The weird thing is that ounce in a while my penis would get a little hard watching wrestling. Its not a full blown erection like when I see women, but regardless it gets hard. So, what is it? I heared that men can naturally get aroused by fighting, not for sexual purposes, but because of the adreniline.
Now the older I get the worse it gets. For instance, if I see a male who my best friend, ,my penis moves, especially if he looks handsome. Like I said a million times, I feel, Homosexuality, Bisexuality, are just as natural, as heterosexuality. So if I see something gay, and don't get turned on by it, why would I still get erections from a man sometimes. Like I said, I always felt my heart and soul belongs to women only. I am starting to get really stressed, and my brain is having a huge game og tug of war, with my sexuality. I am starting to think that this is not "confusion" because I am 18 already, and shoild know hwo I am by now. I tried so hard, to brake it down, and see who I am but I can't. Should i see a thereapist oe what? I just don'y know anymore.