i need help
just as school started to become a better athlete i was told by a friend that to make my high schools baseball team that i would need to take steroids to get bigger, so he told me the name and phone number of a few good dealers that would give me quality HGH (human growth hormones) being his friend and all i received discounts. It is summer now and i am still taking these drugs and my life has gone downhill completely. The steroids sold to me are extremely expensive and now to pay for them i am forced to sell crystal methamphetamine out of a lab that i built in my friends grandmothers basement. After doing this for a while i have become extremely paranoid and now i don't know who the fuck i can trust so to ease the paranoia i smoke 2,3, maybe even 4 grams of weed a day so i'm not so nervous. Also after all of this i was removed from the team after random drug testing showed that i had been under the influence of several drugs that had been present in my system. In fear of the side affects that will come if i stop using steroids, i keep taking them and i have been turned into a nervous paranoid fucking wreck.